The Pensive Passions of a Particularly Peculiar Pony
by True Avox
Summary: Armed with nothing but some moderately advanced gardening skills and a preposterous penchant for the letter 'P', Carrot Top sets out to discover what it means to be 'normal'. Along the way she'll deal with crazy exes, stalkers, her parents, and a plethora of other unsurprisingly surprising surprises. With her best friend Roseluck by her side, she is in for the ride of a lifetime.
1. 1: Party Ponies

"Wait, so you're telling me that Carrot Top isn't your real name?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Roseluck. It's not like it's some big secret or anything. We've been friends for what, three years? I'm surprised you didn't know by now. Practically everypony in town does."

Her face flushed in embarrassment. "That's hardly fair. Nopony probably knows your actual name," she muttered, trying to recover from her flop.

Instead of dignifying her with a response, I turned away and looked out into the bustling square that was the Ponyville marketplace. "Excuse me?" I called out to the first pony I saw. Raindrops, I recalled. "Do you know my real name?"

Without a moment of hesitation, she said, "Golden Harvest." Despite being proven right, I couldn't help but frown slightly. I loathed hearing my name, especially when coming from the mouth of another pony. I am Carrot Top, not Golden Harvest.

"Thank you, Raindrops," I said with a smile. She shot a warm smile right back at me and headed on her way. Raindrops always stopped by my stand every Thursday and bought a dozen carrots. She had always been a very pleasant pony, if a little stiff sometimes.

Roseluck frowned at me. "So one pony knows your actual name. That doesn't mean that everypony does."

I loudly cleared my throat and prepared myself to ask somepony else the same question. Before I could call out to the next random passerby, Roseluck said, "Okay, okay! You win! You don't need to get another pony to prove your point. I get it. But seriously, how come you've never mentioned it before?"

I shrugged. "I could've sworn I had."

A small grin began to worm its way onto her face. After a moment of trying to hold it in, she erupted into a bout of laughter. "Golden Harvest?! That is priceless."

My ears flattened against my head. "Now do you see why I go by Carrot Top? Golden Harvest is just so… not me."

"Yes, I understand completely, Golden Harvest," she finished with another fit of giggles.

I groaned. "Please don't call me that. It's bad enough that that's my name in the first place. I don't need you reminding me of it every time I see you."

"No problem, Goldie," she jeered.

"Goldie?"

"Goldie."

I let out a wistful sigh. It was going to be a long day. The worst part was that knowing Roseluck, the nickname would probably stick. She wasn't one to do things halfway; she would hold onto something until she was on her deathbed. I guess I'm going to have to get used to it. But still, Goldie sounds like something a foal would name their new stuffed animal, not a pony. Frankly, it was kind of embarrassing.

As much as Roseluck could be a pain sometimes, I still loved her. Without her help, my move to Ponyville all those years ago would've been much more difficult than it already was, especially since things with my parents ended on a pretty sour note. On that day, we became quick friends and ever since then, we would set up our stands next to each other, her with her flowers and me with my signature carrots. If nothing else, she has made every day a lot more interesting than it would have been.

Just then, a familiar little rabbit came hopping down the road. After stopping for a moment to orient himself, he picked his destination: my carrot stand. He plodded over and boldly picked a peck of perfect carrots. Within seconds, he finished his first handful and went back in for another.

By Celestia, that little rabbit could eat.

In no time at all, Angel had downed at least half of my stock. As much as I wanted to do something, anything, to stop him, I knew I couldn't. Everypony knows how fragile Angel's owner could be. I don't care who you are or what you're doing, you don't upset Fluttershy. Not to mention that she was one of my best customers. It's no surprise she stopped by as often as she did, what with how much her little rabbit could eat—and that's not even taking into consideration her other animals.

Right when I thought things couldn't get any weirder, Fluttershy came galloping down the street, her mane a mess and heavy bags under her eyes. She looked completely and utterly frazzled and, well, pretty much as unlike Fluttershy as you could possibly get.

She stopped for a moment to catch her breath. Once she spotted Angel, she sprinted over to us, a look of horror and fury plastered on her face.

"Angel!" she scolded. "You can't just run away from home like that. I was worried sick about you!"

Fluttershy looked up, only just seeming to notice that there were other ponies present. All at once she spotted Angel's bulging belly, the carrot half sticking out of his mouth, and my half-empty food stand. Her eyes widened. "Oh goodness! I-I'm so sorry, Carrot Top!"

I alternated looking between the satisfied-looking bunny and the mare that was on the verge of tears. Reigning in my frustration, I muttered, "Don't worry about it, it's fine."

She started pacing around nervously. "Oh no…" Then she suddenly stopped and turned to face me. "I-I promise I will pay you back for every c-carrot Angel stole…"

Fluttershy meant well, but we both knew that no matter how badly she wanted to, that couldn't happen. With feeding and taking care of as many animals as she does, you'd be hard-pressed to convince me she has it easy on the bit pouch. Still, I remained silent. I needed the bits. It didn't matter whether or not it was Fluttershy or Angel who ate the carrots, they were still my produce.

"H-How much do I o-owe you?" Fluttershy asked.

I eyeballed my near-empty stand and Angel's bulging belly. "Somewhere around a hundred bits."

Her eyes widened. "I-I don't have that kind of money! B-But I have to pay you back somehow…"

My face contorted into a frown. I felt somewhat guilty about the whole thing, but I was running a business here. Those carrots were my livelihood.

"I… I can't just take your food without giving you something in return."

"Well technically it was Angel who took the carrots—ow!" I yelped as Roseluck jabbed me in the side with a hoof.

"Oh, I know!" Fluttershy said, missing my outburst completely. "You should come to the spa with Rarity and me tomorrow! Erm, that is, uh, if you want to. Oh, and I should probably check with Rarity first, but…"

Out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie popped out of a bouquet of tulips on Roseluck's stand. "Yay! Everypony is happy! Do you know what this calls for?!"

Roseluck, who had been knocked back in surprise by Pinkie's sudden appearance, mumbled something about a ridiculous excuse for a party. I shot her a quick glare.

"This calls for a PARTY!" Pinkie cheered, answering her own question.

"Eight o'clock tonight, guys!" Pinkie added. "Well, you aren't guys, you're mares, but same difference. You gu—er, mares know what I meant. Anyways, I gotta go make invitations and banners and blow up balloons and stuff. Bye!" Pinkie slurred, leaving the rest of us bewildered behind her.

It's funny that this was a normal day by Ponyville standards. And it was only Tuesday…

Completely unaffected by Pinkie's antics, Fluttershy said, "I'll go check with Rarity about the spa. That is, uh, if you would want to come…"

"I'd love to, Fluttershy."

After shooting me her signature smile, Fluttershy headed off to Rarity's boutique with Angel in tow. As soon as she was out of earshot, I let out a sigh. After a hundred bits lost and another social obligation I would probably end up forgetting, I was beginning to grow slightly tired of today. As much as I love Ponyville, sometimes it can be a little too much to handle.

Roseluck was staring at me, a confused expression on her face.

"You okay there, Rose?" I asked.

Still holding her gaze, she said, "That was… weird."

I rolled my eyes. "Well yeah, when Pinkie pops out of a bouquet of flowers and invites you to a party it can generally be considered 'weird'."

"No, not that," she said, dismissing me with the wave of a hoof, "I mean you were weird."

"Uh, thanks?"

She pressed on, "You were acting different, like you weren't yourself. I mean, you're usually so… out there. Strange. Peculiar. But right now you were being so careful with your words. You usually just say whatever pops into your head."

"It's Fluttershy. I didn't want to do anything to upset her."

She stared at me in an intense moment of contemplation, then sighed. "I'll never understand you. It's like you've got five different personalities."

I beamed at her.

She scrunched her face up. "And don't even get me started on your stupid thing with the letter 'P'."

"Please, it's perfectly proper for ponies to periodically partake in plucky peculiarities such as the profusive use of 'P'."

She let out a loud groan. "How do you even do that?! You don't even give yourself time to think. You just say stuff."

Honestly, it just came naturally by this point. I had been doing it ever since I was a foal; it just kind of stuck with me ever since then. Of course, I did it much less now than I did back then. It got to the point where I used to refuse to say words unless they had the letter 'P' in them. Suffice to say, it got me labeled as 'weird' and 'one carrot short of a bunch'. Naturally, I wasn't about to tell anypony about that. Especially Rose. Some secrets are best kept secrets. But still, it was fun to do, especially because of how much it annoys Rose.

"It really isn't a particularly perverse performance. My prowess and proficiency are from practice: practice makes perfect!"

She let out an even longer, more drawn out groan. "You can be so annoying sometimes, you know that?"

I threw one leg around her and pulled her close to me. "Aw, c'mon. You know you love me."

Her face turned bright red and she let out a series of unintelligible mumbles.

My grin grew even larger. Even if this day was off to a bad start, at least I would get to spend it annoying the hay out of my best friend.

* * *

"Geez, Goldie, when was the last time you brushed your mane?"

"Hey, maybe if you didn't—ow!" I yelped. "—brush so hard, it wouldn't be so difficult!"

The worst part was I brushed my mane just that morning. No matter how long I spent trying to brush it, no matter how long I spent trying to straighten it, no matter how much manespray I used, it always just curled right back up to the way it was when I started fixing it. I tried not to let it bother me too much, but as much as I liked my mane the way it was, it would be nice to be able to style it in other ways too. But hey—at least I never have to deal with bed mane.

Roseluck huffed, "That's it, I give up. Your mane is staying the way it is."

"That's what I tried telling you forty-five minutes ago, but no." I joked, "Nopony ever listens to Carrot Top."

She rolled her eyes and playfully socked me in the shoulder. We had stopped work early and went over to her place an hour or so ago. As weird as an occasion as it was, I was still really excited for Pinkie's party. You know what they say: there ain't no party like a Pinkie Pie party.

"Do you want me to brush your mane?" I offered.

"I'll pass. Not after I've seen how you treat yours, no thank you," she said.

I shrugged. "You don't really need me to style it anyways. I am actually jealous of you; your mane is always so perfect. I'll never understand how you do it."

The faintest of blushes tainted her cheeks. "T-Thanks…"

Our conversation lulled into a comfortable silence after that. I couldn't help but notice her blush; she'd been doing that a lot recently.

Just then, a random thought crossed my mind. "Hey, Rose? Where are your sisters?"

She met my gaze. "They live on their own on the other side of town. And they aren't my sisters, they are my half-sisters."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Half-sisters?"

She shot me a grin. "Looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't know everything about their best friend, huh?"

Since I couldn't think of a proper, mature response to her statement, I did what any normal pony would have done; I stuck my tongue out at her and blew her a big, fat raspberry.

She giggled. "Yeah, we're half-sisters. Same Dad, but different Moms."

My curiosity got the better of me. "Are they half-sisters too, or are they directly related?"

"They're directly related to each other. Although I'm close with them, I'll never be as close to them as they are with each other. I mean, I love 'em and all, but there's always going be a gap between us, what with the whole 'different moms' thing. Plus, we've got a pretty big age difference."

"How old are they?"

"Lily is seventeen and Daisy is a couple years younger than her. Oh, and by the way, you've made quite the impression on Daisy. She's been trying to copy your mane style recently."

"Really?" I snickered.

"Yup. She can't quite pull it off as well as you can, though. On her it looks… forced. It looks natural on you. It works. You know, aside from being obnoxiously difficult to brush," Roseluck said.

"Wow. I can't believe she's really trying to copy my mane style. It's weird that I haven't noticed it before."

She shifted her weight to the side. "Well, you can be really ignorant sometimes."

I looked up at her curiously. "Am I really that ignorant?"

She got up and made her way over to her dresser to put the brush back down. "Goldie, if ignorance is bliss, then you must be orgasmic," she said with a snort.

I blinked twice. Ordinarily I would have been slightly offended by that, but I could only think about one thing: "Did… did you just call me orgasmic?"

She froze in place. Her cheeks quickly heated up again, the color of her face easily matching that of her ruby-red mane. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out.

After having a good laugh at her expense, I decided to put her out of her misery. "Seriously though, am I really that oblivious?"

"...Y-Yeah, you can, uh, be pretty oblivious s-sometimes…"

As much as I tried to not let it get to me, I couldn't help but be a little bit upset. My best friend was telling me I was oblivious. It was going to hurt a little bit, whether I wanted it to or not. I didn't want Roseluck to know that though, so I did my best to keep my expression phlegmatic.

Of course, she was able to see right through my little act. She frowned. "No, wait. That's not what I meant. I meant it in an 'adorably naive' kind of way, not an 'annoyingly ignorant' kind of way. It's a very endearing quality."

My ears flattened against my head. It didn't really matter if she hadn't meant it, she had still said it. And the fact that she was trying to take it back made it even worse. Like it or not, my ignorance was a problem—not to mention my bluntness. And my tendency to speak without thinking. It had gotten me in trouble more times than I could count. Heck, Applejack still hasn't forgiven me from that one time all those years ago…

Her ears splayed. "No, don't be sad! I promise it's not a bad thing! In fact, it's one of the reasons that I… uh… yeah."

What the hay was that all about? I shrugged it off. Whatever just happened, I was smart enough to realize I should just leave it there.

She mumbled something unintelligible, and I beamed at her. "Whatever you say, Rosie."

"Rosie?"

"Yup. If you get to call me Goldie, then I get to call you Rosie."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. But we should get going. We don't want to be late to Pinkie's Party."

* * *

Roseluck and I stood just inside the entrance of Sugarcube Corner, staring at our surroundings in awe. Just how Pinkie managed to give the normally average establishment such a party-like atmosphere in just a few hours was beyond me. There were balloons and sugary-snacks scattered everywhere and, from the looks of things, half of Ponyville was already in attendance. Again, it was beyond me how Pinkie managed to notify everypony in town of the party on such short notice. But I suppose if anypony was capable of doing it, it would be Pinkie.

A huge banner hung directly across the entrance that read 'Congrats to Carrot Top Who Didn't Get Angry at Fluttershy When Fluttershy's Bunny Ate All of Her Produce!' I let out a snort. Leave it to Pinkie to make a banner for something as ridiculous as that.

Just then, the pony in question came bouncing over to us. "Hey, girls! Thanks for coming! I would've been super duper sad if you didn't come. Especially you, Carrot, because you're one of the guests of honor and everything. I put so much effort into this party, and if ponies didn't come it would be a super duper bummer. Anyways, I gotta go! See you around!" she said before bouncing off and back into the mass of ponies.

"We didn't even get a chance to thank her for the party…" I mumbled, more to myself than anypony else.

Before I had a chance to say anything more on the issue, the other guest of honor made her way over to us.

"Hello Carrot, hello Roseluck," she said, addressing each of us in turn. Her voice was so quiet that is was almost lost in the blaring music.

"Hiya, Fluttershy. Crazy party, right?" I said.

"Oh yes, definitely. Although I'm becoming a little bit worried about Pinkie Pie. She's been throwing parties about every little thing recently. Something is definitely bothering her, but she won't tell me what. If she keeps this up, she's going to burn herself out."

"Ponyville's premier pink party pony is pooped out?"

I almost missed it, but in my peripheral vision, I noticed Rose's eye twitch. I grinned.

Roseluck excused herself from the conversation to go and find her sisters. After telling her I'd catch up with her later, I turned to Fluttershy. "Anyways, this really is a pretty absurd reason to throw a party, even by Pinkie Pie standards. I kind of figured there would be some other reason behind it all."

"Yes, I'm sure there's something. I don't want to pressure her into telling me anything, but I'm becoming worried about her. Plus, things are getting pretty tense between everypony else as well…"

I knew that by 'everypony else', she meant the rest of her little group of friends. The six of them had become pretty famous around Ponyville for their crazy hijinks and antics.

I was just about to ask her what happened, when she said, "But I don't want to bother you with my silly little problems… The reason I came over here was to tell you about the spa. Um, I talked to Rarity and she said it would be fine if you came with us. Does tomorrow at ten work for you?"

"Of course," I said with a false smile. I almost let out a sigh, but I caught myself before it escaped. Fluttershy was going out of her way to do something nice for me; the least I could do was appreciate the gesture. Plus, Fluttershy was a nice enough pony. I'd never really talked to Rarity, but I was sure she'd be just as nice as Fluttershy. I was sure I'd have fun tomorrow, but I would have to allow myself to enjoy it first.

"See you then!" She shot me a quick smile before merging back into the crowd of ponies.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I scanned the room for Roseluck and her sisters and eventually spotted the three of them on the other side of the room. I slowly made my way over to them.

"Hey, Carrot Top," Lily said.

Daisy beamed at me. "Hi, Carrot Top!"

I couldn't help but notice Daisy's mane. Roseluck was right—it looked just like mine, albeit with copious amounts of manespray and gel added into it. It looked so stiff that if you threw a rock at it, the rock would probably shatter into millions upon millions of little pieces. Pushing that mental image to the back of my mind, I replied, "Hey, girls. What's up?"

The four of us made small talk for some time about the weather, our jobs, and everything in between. It was nice to just take a break from everything and talk for awhile. There was so much going on in my life at the same time that it felt good to be able to relax. Too bad I was sure it wouldn't last long.

Rose turned to me and asked, "By the way, what did Fluttershy need to tell you? I didn't want to intrude on you two."

I dismissively waved my hoof at her. "It was nothing, really. She just wanted to set a date for our spa visit and whatnot."

She nodded in understanding.

The rest of the night was all one big blur. It went the same way that every other Pinkie party did: on the dance floor. Grab a cupcake. He talks to me, and by Celestia is he boring. I talk to her, and suddenly realize I've already forgotten her name. Apologize for knocking over his drink and ruining his tux. Grab another cupcake. Dance some more. Finish off the last of the cupcakes. Dance one more time.

Eventually, the music began to slow and the guests began to slowly filter out of Sugarcube Corner to head home for the night. Once there was only a handful of ponies left, Rose found me. "You ready to go? The party is pretty much dead."

"Sure, just lemme grab some punch first."

She nodded and wandered off, presumably to look for her sisters. Er, half-sisters.

I made my way over to the food and drink table. Once there, I reached out to grab a cup, when a hoof landed on top of mine. Shying away from the physical contact, I slowly looked up to see who the other pony was. Our eyes locked together.

The stallion smiled at me. "I'm sorry. Ladies first," he said, removing his hoof and gesturing to the stack of cups.

I smiled at him and grabbed one, unsure of how else to respond. I filled it up with punch and he grabbed his own cup and did the same.

After taking a sip from his drink, he gently face-hooved. "Where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself. Written Script, at your service," he said with an exaggerated bow.

I couldn't help but giggle at his formality. He looked fairly familiar, but I couldn't quite place where I knew him from. I curtseyed back at him. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Script. My name is—"

"—Carrot Top," he finished for me.

My eyes widened in shock. "How did you know my name?"

He let out a warm laugh. "We went to school together back in Trottingham, remember?"

My heart rate slowed down. That made things a lot less strange, though I felt bad that I didn't recognize him.

"You don't recognize me, do you? Don't worry, I was a year above you and Trottingham is a pretty big city."

I blinked in surprise. "Am... am I really that transparent?"

"It's certainly not a bad thing. It shows that you're honest, and that's a good quality to have," he said with his ever-present grin.

Another blink followed. "Wait, I said that out loud?"

He smirked at me. "Yes, yes you did."

I could feel my face heating up. I took a sip of my drink to hide my blush. "Uh, yeah… well, I gotta go. You know, the party's almost over and all…" I said with a nervous laugh.

He cleared his throat. "Forgive me if I'm being terribly forward, Carrot Top, but would you like to get drinks sometime? I'd be nice to catch up with somebody from back home."

I quickly gave him a once over. His cutie mark was a rolled-up scroll, which was to be expected from a pony with a name like his. He wasn't overly large or muscular, but he was definitely in shape. His mane was swept back in a casual fashion and his coat was immaculately groomed. A fancy looking quill was tucked behind his ear, giving him a scholarly quality. He was a definitely handsome stallion.

By this point, my face couldn't be any more red if I'd wanted it to be. I did my best to retain my composure and said, "Sure, why not?"

I smiled up at him, and he smiled right back. I didn't want to dive headfirst into anything, but I couldn't help but be excited to get to know him better.


	2. Perfect Package

I handed the pony his carrots. He shot me a smile and headed on his way. I took my newly-received bits and placed them behind the stand with the others. I eyeballed the sizeable pile of coins behind the counter and grinned. It was only mid-morning, and I was already raking in a formidable profit. Today was already going great.

Suddenly, my ear twitched. I scanned the crowd of ponies for a familiar ruby-red mane, but I came up empty. Rose hadn't come in to work this morning, and it was starting to worry me. Sure, chances were that she was just too lazy to get out of bed this morning—Celestia knew I was guilty of doing that as well—but it just didn't sit right with me. It wasn't like Rose to skip work. Sure, if you were running your own business, you were entitled to a few personal days, but Rose wouldn't want to disappoint her regulars by not informing them in advance.

With a discontented sigh I plodded over to her stand and flipped the 'closed' sign over to 'open'. Rose had run my stand in my absence more times than I could count, so it was only fair that I returned the favor. It really wasn't much trouble—I knew her prices by heart—two bits per flower, and twenty for a bouquet of twelve. She was far too generous.

Once ponies began to notice her stand was open, they gradually flocked over one by one. All of the sales went the same way: they told me what they wanted, they paid, and I gave them the flowers. They always tried to make small talk, and I tried my best to keep up with the conversation, but my mind was elsewhere.

I was deep in thought when another pony approached. "Hello. Can I get a bouquet of orchids, please?"

My head jerked up at the sound of a familiar voice. "Written Script? What are you doing here?"

He seemed just as surprised as I did. "I could ask you the same question," he said with a laugh. "You run the carrot stand and the flower stand?"

"Nah, the flower stand is Roseluck's. I'm just running it for her while she's out."

His eye twitched slightly at the mention of her name. "So are we still on for tonight?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Of course. Ten o'clock tonight at The Salt Lick, right?" I asked as I searched for his requested flowers.

"Yep."

"That'll be twenty bits," I said, handing over the flowers.

He placed the bits on the counter and took the bouquet into his mouth. With a wave of his hoof, he turned around to leave.

"Who are you getting those flowers for anyway?" I asked.

He shot me a smirk and continued on his way, leaving me answerless behind him. Was he seeing a different mare? I could've sworn that he was hitting on me last night, but maybe he really did only want to go out for a drink to catch up. I wasn't really sure.

The thought made me sad.

Either way, I was still looking forward to seeing him tonight. Plus, I had never been to The Salt Lick before, but I had read some pretty good reviews about it. Still, I was a little nervous. I wasn't a prude; I've had alcohol before. But the last time I had something to drink, it didn't exactly end well.

Just then, a baggy-eyed Rose came trotting down the road. I waved her over, and her expression visibly relaxed when she realized her stand was not unattended.

"Hey, you alright?" I asked.

She sighed. "Yeah, I just overslept is all."

I cocked my eyebrow at her, but didn't press the issue any further. She would bring it up again when she was good and ready.

"Thanks for watching over everything for me," she added.

"Not a problem," I said with a devious smirk, "my standard fee is thirty bits an hour, but for you, I can lower it to twenty-five."

She rolled her eyes. "Ha-ha, very funny. By the way, who was that stallion that was just here?"

"Oh, you mean Written Script? We're going out to get drinks later."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Why in Equestria would you want to go out with him?!"

I blinked twice in surprise. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean? He's a total jerk!"

"No he's not! He is a very nice stallion."

She scowled. "He is the reason I was late today. I was rushing to get here when he bumped into me and 'accidentally' spilled his cider all over my mane! And he had the nerve to blame me for it! I had to go home and shower all over again, without so much as an apology!"

"Honestly, if you were in a rush, it sounds like you ran into him," I said, meaning every word of it. "What gives you the right to go around judging ponies all willy-nilly like that? He's a nice stallion."

"Are you siding with somepony that you just met over your best friend!?"

A cool breeze blew through the streets, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Yes."

For a moment, the silence reigned. Neither of us said anything.

"Carrot, I think that you should cancel your date with Written Script tonight. He is not a good pony."

I got up close and personal, my face inches from hers. "Who do you think you are? My mother? I'm a grown mare, Rose! If I want to go out for drinks with somepony, then I sure as hay will!"

Our yelling was attracting a crowd, but I didn't care. I was angry.

Her eye twitched and she pressed muzzle up against mine. "Fine! But don't come crying to me when you go and get your heart broken!"

I glared at her for another moment, then stormed off. I had better things to do than to sit there and be reprimanded like a teenage mare who had stayed out past curfew. I didn't know where I was going, but it didn't matter. As long as I was as far away from here as possible.

* * *

"Oh, yes," I moaned, "that feels so… good…"

Rarity grinned devilishly. "I knew you would enjoy yourself, Carrot Top. How about you, Fluttershy? Are you having fun?"

"O-Oh yes, R-Rarity… this… this is fantastic," she responded between gasps of pleasure.

I couldn't disagree with her. I didn't think that I had ever experienced anything quite so… exquisite before.

Rarity giggled. "Well I'm glad that you're both enjoy the spa. Aloe and Lotus are master masseuses, after all."

I couldn't help but let out another grunt as the mare—Aloe, I recalled—kneaded my back, working out any tightness with her advanced ministrations. I had never thought to go to the spa before, and now I was regretting not trying it sooner. Fluttershy said it perfectly; this was fantastic.

I sighed when I felt Aloe's expert hooves leave my back. "Would you three like some time in the mud baths?" she asked.

I pulled myself onto my feet and looked at Rarity expectantly.

"Of course, Aloe," Rarity said.

Aloe smiled. "Right this way, then." She led us down and around several different hallways, promptly stopping at a door appropriately labeled 'Mud Baths'. She left us to our own devices, heading back down the hall to tend to other customers.

After taking one look at the huge vats of brown sludge, I was immediately skeptical. I can do a massage, but purposely getting myself all muddy? That was a whole different ball game.

After watching both Rarity and Fluttershy slide into the pool, I quickly followed. The last thing I wanted was for either of them to think that I wasn't enjoying myself. The whole trip had already been much more fun than I could have imagined. And admittedly, it was a nice distraction from my fight with Rose earlier.

"Golden Harvest, darling, pray tell—what was that whole spectacle this morning about?"

"You can call me Carrot Top, Rarity. We're all friends here."

"Of course, of course, Golden," she said, completely ignoring me. "But I couldn't help but hear the commotion from all the way down by my boutique. What was going on?"

I sighed. From what I could tell, Rarity was quite the gossip hound. Not that I could blame her for wanting to know what was going on; I did make a pretty big scene of everything.

"Um, I'd also like to know…" Fluttershy added.

My ears splayed. "Well… at Pinkie's party the other day, I met a stallion," I said with a blush. It felt weird to be telling this to ponies that I wasn't all that close with. "This morning, I told Roseluck about it—"

"—and she got angry, said you shouldn't see him, and told you off?"

My eyes widened in surprise. Leave it to Rarity to dive straight into the heart of a matter with all the subtlety of a freight train.

"Oh, that is awful," Fluttershy murmured.

"Who is the stallion?" Rarity asked.

"Written Script," I answered immediately.

She stared at me contemplatively for a moment, then nodded in approval. "So why did Roseluck say she didn't like him?"

"She said, and I quote, 'Everypony in town knows he's a total jerk!' I just don't get why she was so against him. I mean, we're not even dating or anything! He just asked if I wanted to get drinks and catch up, nothing else. It's almost like she's jealous of him or something."

Rarity shot me a hollow smile. "Darling, I think that's precisely the problem."

"What do you mean? I don't see how that is a problem. Just because I'm interested in a stallion doesn't mean that she can't still be my friend."

"That is something she needs to explain to you on her own."

After giving her a confused look, I sighed. Sinking deeper into the mud, I muttered, "These last few days have been so ridiculous."

"Sorry again about your carrots, Carrot Top. I just don't know what got over Angel…" Fluttershy said.

"It's fine, Fluttershy. But I am curious—how did Angel manage to get away from your cottage in the first place?"

Rarity and Fluttershy shared a knowing look. After what could only be described as a telepathic conversation, Fluttershy said, "Well, it's kind of a long story…"

"And we would hate to bother you with our problems…" Rarity muttered.

"And it's really not our story to tell…" Fluttershy trailed off.

Wow. That was weird.

Shrugging, I said, "It's all good."

"So where are you going with Written Script tonight?" Rarity asked, changing the subject.

I smiled. "We're going to The Salt Lick. I've never been there, but I've heard it's good."

"Oh, yes, it's very lovely there," Fluttershy said. "The bartenders are very nice."

Rarity and I froze. Just how often did Fluttershy go to this bar? I never would have expected Fluttershy of all ponies to be a clubbing enthusiast. She didn't seem like a party animal.

Fluttershy, realizing what she'd just admitted to, promptly clamped a hoof over her mouth. Her face was bright red.

Rarity gaped at her. "Fluttershy! I never would have pegged you as a bar mare."

Fluttershy's blush deepened and she let out a fleeting "Eep!"

I laughed. "It's always the quiet ones."

* * *

I stared at the mirror. A mess of fur stared right back at me. I glanced up at the clock. It was half past nine. Only another half hour until I needed to be at The Salt Lick. With Written Script. And alcohol.

Sweet Celestia, what in Equestria was I thinking?

I frantically paced around my house, willing the time to pass more quickly. The longer I was stuck in my home waiting, the higher my chances of having a heart attack in nervous anticipation were.

I glanced up at the clock one last time. Seven seconds had passed since the last time I had checked it. My heart started beating faster.

He wouldn't mind if I got there a few minutes early, right?

* * *

After a bit of walking, I reached The Salt Lick. Suffice to say, it was definitely not what I was expecting. The place had neon lights strewn about and blaring music that could be heard from several blocks away. I could barely even hear myself think. Of course, that wasn't an issue because I rarely think before I do things.

Like when I agreed to come here, for example.

I couldn't dance for the life of me. And we were going to a club. Where there would be dancing. Which I cannot do.

I knew it was a stupid thing to get worked up over, but my dancing was completely and utterly atrocious. I'm just as bad as Twilight Sparkle. Maybe even worse. Sure, when it comes to plain old parties, I can bob my head in tune with the music just fine, but when there is actual dancing going on…

I was so engrossed in my own concerns that I didn't even notice Written Script approaching. He levitated a very familiar looking bouquet of orchids in front of my face.

"W-What are these for?" I asked.

"You."

The gears in my head started turning.

So he was getting the flowers for me this morning? Wow. I guess I am pretty oblivious. Roseluck was right.

I flinched at the thought of the flower pony. I didn't know why I was I freaking out so much about this. Given how she was behaving earlier, she didn't care much about me, so why should I care about her?

Resolving not to let our stupid little argument ruin my night, I took the flowers into my mouth. Pulling the door open with his magic, Written gestured for me to enter first. With a smile, I walked inside.

Immediately after entering the establishment, I felt self-conscious. Carrying flowers around a club wasn't exactly the easiest way to fit in. It was a nice of Written to get them for me, but it was going to be difficult keeping track of them all night.

Written led both of us over to the bar. After saying something to the bartender that I couldn't make sense of, he turned to me. "This… definitely isn't what I was expecting," he half-shouted, trying to be heard over the music.

"I know, right!"

"What?" he yelled.

"I said I know, right!"

He nodded. "Yeah, it is going to be a fun night!"

I nearly facehooved. I was about to try correcting him again when the bartender slid two drinks down the counter to us. One looked like plain old draft, while the other had a bright orange tint to it. Written grabbed the former, so I was left with the orange one. After eyeing it curiously, I took a hesitant sip. If the explosion of flavor that erupted on my taste buds was anything to go by, then the drink was amazing. The taste was indescribable, yet familiar.

Figuring hoof gestures would be better than trying to communicate verbally, I poked one hoof at the drink and shot him an inquisitive look.

"Carrot Cake Martini," he yelled back.

Nodding in understanding, I took another sip. My attention drifted to the bouquet of orchids sitting on the counter beside me. Orchids were my favorite type of flowers; it was very nice of Written to get this specific kind just for me. Suddenly, a random thought popped into my head. "Hey, Written, why did you get me orchids?"

"I thought they were your favorite type of flowers."

"How… how did you know?"

He shot me another one of his knowing smirks. My ears splayed. It was a tad strange that he knew my favorite type of flowers without me telling him. It was almost as weird as how he knew my name…

Suddenly, the dots connected in my mind—I had probably just mentioned it offhandedly back in Trottingham when we were younger. That would explain everything.

Written turned to me and smiled. His next three words made me shudder: "You wanna dance?"

I couldn't just say no. He was nice enough to get me flowers and a drink, so the least I could do was dance with him. With a fleeting sigh, I picked up my glass. Downing all of its contents in a matter of seconds, a devilish smile flashed across my face. "Let's do this!"

* * *

We left the bar and my false bravado was replaced by bashful self-consciousness. My dancing wasn't awful—it was downright terrible. I'm pretty sure that I gave a couple of ponies sprained ankles and maybe even a broken leg or two. The only reason I was aware of this was because several ponies complained to the owners; we got kicked out of the bar for 'disrupting the environment'.

Yes, that's right. My lack of dancing skills literally just got us kicked out of a bar.

Written Script said nothing. I couldn't blame him. I had no idea what I would've said to a me at that moment. Probably something stupid, if I was being honest with myself.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak.

"You sure?"

I sighed. "Actually… I think I'd like to go home now," I managed.

"As the lady wishes," he said with a generous bow.

I rolled my eyes and giggled. We headed down the road toward my house, a companionable silence falling over us. I looked up at the clock above town hall. It read exactly midnight. In a matter of two hours, I had successfully ruined not only my first date in months, but my chances of ever going out with Written again.

The latter saddened me more than the former.

Eventually, we reached my door step. I turned back to face Written, and he smiled at me. "I'm sorry," I muttered.

He shot me a confused look. "For what?"

"Don't you remember? I kinda-sorta just got us kicked out of a bar."

"I know! I had the time of my life!"

I let out an unladylike snort. He had the time of his life? Yeah right. "I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me again after that train wreck."

"Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to go out again sometime."

I was confused. "You're asking me out again? After everything that just happened?"

"Of course. Honest to goodness, I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life. Those ponies had no idea what hit 'em."

I laughed sheepishly.

"Does a walk in the park tomorrow sound good to you?"

"As long as there is no dancing involved," I said.

He chuckled lightly. "I promise that there will be no more dancing from here on out."

Neither of us said anything. He got down on one knee and took my hoof into his. He kissed it, and my heart soared. "Goodnight, milady."

I might have said something in response, but I don't remember what it was. And quite frankly, I didn't care even then. Somehow I ended up back in my house, sitting on the couch.

I stared at the bouquet of orchids resting in my hooves. Written was the perfect gentlecolt. Everything he did was extremely chivalrous and sincere. His whole 'perfect stallion' act was both endearing and adorable.

I had yet to see him do a single thing wrong. He was, in every way, perfect.

The more I thought about him, the more I was becoming had a quirk. I didn't know what his was, but I was worried for the day that I found out. Unless he really didn't have any.

That worried me even more. If he was so perfect, what was stopping him from finding somepony better than me?

With a heavy heart, I pulled myself up off my sofa and up to bed. That night, I dreamed of quills, scrolls, and a certain brown-maned stallion.


End file.
